Friday 2 October 2009

Healing my life

Assalamualaikum.... it's been a while I left this blog without any update...this week is a very tiring week for me...not physically but mentally....
There's some issues between me and a good friend of mine...I don't know what exactly causes this thing to happened.... maybe this issue only exist in my retarded mind, I’m unable to express anything plus I don’t want to make things worst….but what I know I feel angry, shame, dishonor, self-pity, left behind, cheated….all sort of negative feelings surrounded me…. I can’t even focus with my work…. What I’ve noticed throughout this week is… In the morning…. My mind can’t concentrate on my assignment…it kept reminisce the issues I had with this friend…it just can stop coming into my mind…. The feeling was surreal makes me shed tears in front of my pc….anything that can remind me of him, even small thing will frenzied my mind. My gloomy work environment makes the problem worst…So on Tuesday… I took medical leave and when to see doctor… as expected the doctor said ‘You’re depressed..!’ and prescribed me Sonar5 Tab 5mg for 1 week….a mild relaxant…..milder than xanax…. however if problem persist he will refer me to psychiatrist or prescribe me antidepressant…
I’ve always have problem swallowing capsules…so until today I did not take the prescribed meds….and things getting worst @ the office…feels like my mind going crazy and emotional going wild….when this happened I try to focus on something else such as deep breathing, reciting Quran, focus my mind on positive things and short meditation…it helps for a while though..

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