Tuesday, 16 February 2010

So far so good

Having anxiety disorder makes me afraid of driving alone, especially when I had couples of episode of panic attack while driving 2-5 years back. After the incidents I rarely sat behind the driver seat even though I have a valid driving license and totally depend on my late father or my sister to take me to and from office & anywhere that I wished to go. I only took on the wheels to the nearby and very (i repeat very) familiar places around my residential area, which makes me gradually, lost some of my 'route' senses in the Klang Valley.

However now, it has been 2 years since I begin to build up courage to drive again, which started after I accepted a work offer by my current employer located just about 20 minutes drive from my house. This gave me no reason to ask for my late father or sister assistance to drive me to work, so (by hook or by crook) I have to drive myself alone almost everyday. On the first 3 months I had a few episodes of anxiety attacks while driving, however I managed to control it and keep on moving…. Yeeehaaaa…

And today for the first time, I unbelievably, drove alone to my friend’s house at Kota Kemuning Klang, which had surprised my friend with this achievement. She always had the thought that I am afraid to drive alone to Klang because I had previous record of losing directions in Klang even though I had somebody to escort me…He he….and not to forget, last month I managed to drive alone to Rawang, also to a friend’s house.

I realized that fear can be erased gradually with encouragement given by you or someone else to yourself. My encouragement comes when I realized that I don’t have my father around with me anymore to be my ‘driver’ and sooner or later my other ‘driver’, my sister will get married and stayed far away from us. Therefore I need NOT to be afraid anymore no matter what.

However I still have ‘phobias’ while driving on a flyover or a bridge that is too high above the sky, kind of makes me dizzy driving on the ‘high’way. Will try my hardest to counter the fear….wish me luck…!!! ...mmmm.. on a second thought, unless if i have a new 'driver' then i will not work hard to diminish my fear...hehehe....who wants to be my 'driver' for free ??? Any taker..?

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