Bismillahirahmanirahim.....
Ketupat ..check...rendang..check.......kuah kacang check....kuah lodeh... mmm tomorrow morning there's enough time to prepare.. cookies... check...duit raya ...check... So far my Hari Raya Aidilfitri (Eid Mubarak) preparation seems to be as planned. Yeay..!. Me and my family will be heading to Negeri Sembilan and Johor this morning to visit beloved Atok, aunties, uncles and cousins...being with them is always the thing that i am happily looking forward to do...however, the sad part is, this is first Aidilfitri without the man of my life. I miss him dearly since he passed away... Al-fatihah...may his soul be blessed by the Almighty.
Enough about Hari Raya... Lets focus on this blog's main agenda... and today i would like tell a little bit about me and my generalized anxiety disorder.
My personality before i was diagnozed: I have low self esteem... a quiet person, always keep to my self, less feelings, slow reaction, not to forget sleeping is my favourite past time, procrastination and can easily became very anxious in situation that i don't like to be involve in... such as presentation, interview, being around guys as i will feel uncomfortable, high place like inside cable car and the list goes on...
but my anxieties are always under control and bearable....
UNTIL... on one fine day that i've experienced difficulties in breathing, extreme fear and confusion, feelings that i'm gonna die, rapid heartbeat and shaking profusely... yeah this it's what we call panic attacks ! and this first episode of my panic attacks at the age of 21 triggers the beginning of my session with psychiatrist.
My biological contribution factor: Firstly I have PCOS (Please Google it yourself for details if you really want to know what it is... there's not enough room for me the explain the details about pcos..) and hormon imbalance which makes me easily feeling stress (This fact i obtained through my readings... ). Secondly, my psychiatrist told me that anxiety disorder can run in family... and that's true because my mother did have the same problem but not as bad as mine...but luckily my sister didn't have it, she's totally opposite of me, so i created my own theory on how did i inherited this ailment but not my sister.. its because i'm the first child, thus my mother's anxiety level during pregnancy is greater...
During a session with my psychiatrist, she had explained people that suffering from anxiety disorder and depression have brain chemical imbalance called serotonin as well as other substances that my ears failed to catch the medical terms or the words she's telling me and i don't even know how to pronounce it (so please fogive me ) , therefore i've dedicated this link for more information : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generalized_anxiety_disorder
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