Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Thursday, 27 August 2015

Stress & multivitamin

Stress dan kehidupan orang  bekerja memang tak dapat di pisahkan.
Tengah menaip entry ni pon stress gila babi dengan auto correct handphone yang sangat nuisance. Grrrr!!! Lain yang ditaip lain yang keluar.

Kalo stress, aku akan mula la sakit kepala, sakit  bahu dan sakit beakang.
Kalo stress tu berlarutan berminggu-minggu, mula la nak kena anxiety attack
dan cepat rasa takut a.k.a panick.

 Seriously speaking bila anxiety tu berlarutan banyak benda yang nak dibuat  jadi terbantut........  it's sooooo disabling kalo kena anxiety disorder ni haishaish.

Kalau dah sampai tahap gini selalunya aku gi jumpa doctor mintak oobat lah..

Tapi kan sejak hampir setahun aku rajin mengamalkan makan multivitamin sebiji sehari, walaupun stress yang berpanjangan melanda, so far anxiety attack berkurangan. Ada tu ada, tapi tak teruk, masih boleh di kawal tanpa perlu makan ubat doctor, alhamdulillah.

Mungkin naturally badan aku ni sebenarnya kekurangan vitamin B tanpa aku sedar. Maka dengan mengambil  multivitamin secara tak langsung menambahkan kandungan vitamin B dalam badan.

Banyak artikel yang aku baca pun  ada menulis tentang pentingnya vitamin B untuk  kesihatan otak  dan saraf. Bila otak dan saraf kita  berfungsi dengan sihat secara tak langsung badan kita dapat handle stress dengan baik. Inshallah.

Just sharing...

Saturday, 22 November 2014

Anggun Ayu Spa - promosi november & disember 2014






Huwaaaa..! Baru je sehari menjejak kaki kembali ke KL dari Melaka.....handphone ku terima  whatsapp mengenai promosi di Anggun Ayu Spa... Kalau ku tau pasal promo ni masa kat Melaka kan syiok...konpem pegi buat massage kat sini...
Pakej bali full body massage + lemon face refreshing rm90 tu sangat tempting hookkkehh..rasa  macam esok je nak balik Melaka semata-mata nak buat spa.










Just sharing....

Thursday, 3 July 2014

This is me... having anxiety attack :'(

Had a stressful day today.....
Missed my sahur today...
work late till 730pm...
gastrick attack...to add on..
and bang....!!!
suddenly this happen to me...
stop by the shopss....
dunno what to do.....huhu....
and suddenly i googled.....
and copy paste this article i found....
so much related of what i'm having now....

Troubled by Fear of Driving?

Fear of driving is a common and troubling problem, but it's a problem you can solve. The first step is to identify the specific nature of your driving fear.

Fear of Panic Attacks

People who experience panic attacks are often afraid of having one at the wheel. They're licensed to drive and generally have a good driving record. They probably drove without any problems, maybe for years, until they started having panic attacks, and then they became afraid.Their fear isn't really about driving. It's about panic attacks while driving. They worry that they won't drive safely during a panic attack, and that they won't be able to flee the scene as quickly as they want.

How They Drive

They often still do some driving, by limiting where and when they drive. They avoid highways. They stay in the right lane, where it's easier to pull off the road. They avoid bridges, tunnels, and any other road conditions which limit their ability to leave the scene as quickly as they wish, in the event of a panic attack. They avoid left turns, unless there's a traffic signal with a turn arrow, because they fear getting "trapped" in the intersection. They avoid driving at rush hour.They also use distraction and various safety objects. They may sing, or call people on their cell phones, to distract themselves from the thoughts of a panic attack. They may drink from a water bottle, and feel reassured by this. They may only drive when accompanied by a "safe" person.

Saturday, 10 May 2014

Tips Untuk Mengekalkan Tenaga Seharian Di Pejabat

Selalu di waktu-waktu hari bekerja..... baru pkul 11 pagi jer...mata ni macam dah mula layu...ngantuk....rasa lemau bagaiii......terpaksa la pi jalan-jalan jap ke pantri buat air untuk replenish energy tu balik....tapi sattt jer.... dah minumm......setengah jam lepas tu.... lemaaauuu balikkk......huhu

Itulah masalah nyerr....kekadang dalam seminggu tu sampai 3-4 hari mengalami keadaan macam ni...
Kadang-kadang tu dah terlebih tidor pon ...masih rasa lemau jugak....acanerr tu..?

lemauu ke demamm ni?


Saya asalnya peminat majalah CLEO.... dari zaman belajar lagi memang rajin beli majalah ni....
tapi kan...tak tau la kenapa...sejak dua menjak ni jiwa CLEO rasa macam dah tak sesuai dengan jiwa saya dahh.....uhuuukkksss.... saya cubalah baca Women Weekly pulak.....ok...haaa...barulah sesuai sikit dengan jiwa saya ni....uhuuuukkkksss....dah tua dah weeeeiii...takkan nak baca CLEO lagiii.....

Dalam majalah Women weekly ni saya terjumpa tips yang berguna ni untuk di kongsi bagi sesapa yang ada masalah lemau ni macam saya....

1. Pagi bangun tidur.... tak perlu risau tak cukup tidur ker apa ker...it wouldn't harm you for a day.....just wake up...tapi kalau rasa penat selepas tidur cuba buat teknik ni...

   ~~Baring terlentang atas lantai sambil kepala diletakkan di atas 2-3  buah buku dengan  lutut dibengkokkan ke atas  & regangkan kedua belah kaki....kedua tangan diletakkan atas perut dan siku berada atas lantai....cuba rilex sambil bernafas dalam-dalam seolah olah  terasa berbaring di atas tilam yg saannnngaaatt empuk...

2. Mandi...mandi dengan air sejuk....confirm tenaga segera akan datang dengan mandi dengan air sejuk....brrrr.......tapi jangan mandi lama-lamaa sangatt...

3. Sarapan....bersarapanlah dengan makanan yang mengandungi protin untuk mengimbangkan hormon untuk menstabilkan mood dalam badan....contohnya telur dan  2 keping roti bijirin (wholemeal)

4. Minum kopi yang katanya elok untuk memberikan fokus semasa membuat kerja......erkkk...!!! ini confirm saya tak boleh follow sebab saya tak suka kopi.....

5. Masa bekerja  ~~ kurangkan kerja yang multi-tasking....fokus kan pada sesuatu kerja sampai habis.... kerana multi-tasking boleh membuatkan diri kita rasa overwhelmed ....jika terjadi cuba rileks dengan menggunakan kaedah pernafasan....tarik nafas dalam-dalam dan hembuskan dengan perlahan sekali....lebihkan masa  hembusan nafas dan berikan lebih fokus terhadap hembusan nafas berbanding dengan tarik nafas....

6. Stress dan panik di pejabat...? cuba teknik accupressure seperti di bawah





7. Lunch...makan makanan yang banyak vitamin B seperti telur, sayuran hijau, tuna, susu, cendawan dan Kekacang...

8. Habis kerja.....sila laah buat senaman kardio.....contohnya berenang....jogging...masuk kelas tarian zumba ke hip hop ke di gym........sangat bagus untuk tambah tenaga dan hilangkan stresss......bahagian ni paling susah bagi saya...hohohoho.....balik kerja jer hari dah gelap....bila gelap mood bersenam pun dah hilang....hanya nampak katil kat rumah jer....

9. Makan malam.... silalah makan beberapa jam sebelum tidur....cuba makan makanan yang kaya dengan tryptophan contohnya ikan...ayam...pisang...tofu (agadeshi tofu....!!!! yesss...!!! boleh ni...) di mana makanan ni boleh tolong memberikan ketenangan
dan elakkan makanan seperti keju, chocolate ( ohhh nooo...?!! why ??) , sosej, terung dan tomato sebelum tidur kerana makanan ini boleh meningkatkan paras adrenalin dan sangat tak sesuai ketika hendak tidur,,,,

10. Buat refleksi atau muhasabah diri sebelum tidur...

Sekian...selamat mencuba....

Sumber : majalah Women Weekly - Malaysia keluaran March 2014





Just sharing....

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

akhirnya saya berjumpa juga dengan mereka

Sejak saya di diagnos ada anxiety disorder a.k.a bahasa tak bestnya mental disorder beberapa tahun lepas...
saya selalu tercari-cari geng atau kawan-kawan yang senasib dengan saya...
yang boleh open minded dan berkongsi masalah dia dengan saya...
sebab saya rasa hanya orang-orang yang pernah mengalaminya saja yang tahu macamana rasanya bila ada penyakit ini....
ia memang amat sukar di fahami.... ecehhh

beberapa bulan lepas...bulan January tak salah saya....(ya puan-puan cerita ni dah agak basi tapi saya baru nak post kat sini)
saya pergi ke FRIM untuk sesi membakar lemak di sana bersama beberapa teman gegirl saya....
semasa proses membakar lemak tepu berada di tahap maxima semasa mendaki puncak bukit di FRIM...
tetibe tercatat sejarah yang memang dah lama saya tunggu....
semasa berborak sambil mendaki itu....terbongkar lah rahsia yang 2 orang kawan daripada 7 yang pergi mendaki pernah mempunyai masalah mental....
walaupun berlainan jenis tapi berada di bawah payung yang sama iaitu mental disorder....
yang sorang ni ada depression & emotional dependancy...pernah masuk wad sebab ada suicidal thought... kawan saya ni kerja PTD okeeehhh....
yang sorang lagi ada Dysthymia (kronik depression) & obesessive compulsive disorder....dia ni paling kesian...seorang pharmacist tapi sedang bercuti setahun kerana penyakit yang di alaminya....
saya dah syak sebenarnya kawan saya yg sorang ni ada 'penyakit' ...tapi saya diamkan saja....
akhirnya rahsia terbongkar....tatkala membakar lemak.... hehehehhehe
2 orang kawan saya ni kes nya lagi teruk dari saya .. (graf yang dicipta sendiri oleh cik zy...)
dan saya bersyukur bila berjumpa mereka....
dan sejak dari hari itu... kami ber3 selalu mengadakan sesi luahan perasaan khas untuk kami yang berpenyakit ini....sambil melepak makan char kuey tiow chord yang sendap kat sungai penchala....
sebab hanya kami saja yang memahami apa yg dirasa..




Just sharing....

Friday, 18 November 2011

Saje nak story ..

Last week dapat berita officemate saya punye makcik yang duduk di Kota Kinabalu telah kembali ke Rahmatullah..
Semasa bercuti  di KK pada bulan April lalu bersama-sama kawan saya tu, dia  selalu aja bercerita tentang makcik dia ni...Saya masih ingat lagi cerita-cerita kawan saya mengenai makciknya itu...
Walaupun tidak sempat berjumpa beliau ... (sebab saya tak ikut kawan saya tu melawat rumah makciknye kerana saya pi melawat kawan saya ..)




Menurut kawan saya makcik dia tu ...tetiba ada orang buat dia hingga tak sedar diri terjun dari tingkat 3 apartment yang di dudukinya...selepas koma selama sebulan akhirnya dia menghembus nafas terakhir..


Mmm.... selalu terfikir....bila perkara-perkara macam ini terjadi terutamanya yang pelik-pelik...mesti ramai orang kita yang akan cakap perkataan-perkataan 'buatan orang' ataupun 'orang buat'...


Saya agak la kan...semuanya mungkin berpunca dari tekanan...stress ...kecelaruan emosi dan sewaktu dengannya..yang menyebabkan manusia kurang sedar atau kurang judgement yang baik tentang sesuatu situasi itu...sehingga melakukan perkara-perkara yang pelik-pelik... 
dalam erti kata lain ada masalah mental pada saat dan ketika waktu itu. (sebab sesetengah orang tidak sepanjang masa dia mengalami masalah mental....hanya waktu-waktu tertentu saja ...kecuali kes orang berpenyakit skizfernia, sbb orang skizofernia ni lain sket situasinya...)
sebab dari pendapat saya....bila emosi terganggu & otak celaru....memang kewarasan manusia itu akan jadi kurang.... manusia akan bertindak hanya mengikut emosi dan sangat impulsif di ketika itu tanpa berfikir panjang... ..


itulah betapa peri pentingnya kita menjaga kesihatan mental kita....kalau terdapat simtom-simtom ke arah itu jangan malu-malu berjumpa dengan pakar....


pagi tadi saya ter baca di thestar online bahawa kerajaan telah membuka satu pusat komuniti kesihatan mental di putrajaya.... 
saya amat gembira sebab ia berdekatan dengan orang ramai....tak macam Hospital Tanjung Rambutan dan Hospital Permai yang lokasinya entah di mana....


dengan harapan pusat-pusat macam ni dapat memudahkan orang yang stress mencari jalan penyelesaian sebelum penyakit-penyakit mental yang serius menjelma ....
No telefon : 03-8881 1732


Artikel penuh: 
http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/11/18/nation/9926836&sec=nation

My mode: Tengah physically stress....walaupon fikiran saya , saya rasa ookay...tapi tak tau napa sakit-sakit kepala.....nak start exercise balik....dengan harapan sakit kepala boleh hilang....kalau tak hilang juga terpaksa la berdepan ngan encik doctor..


Just sharing....

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Hari Kesihatan Mental Sedunia 2011

Tadi semasa di ofis baruku sedar tahun ni aku belum post apa2 entri pasal hari kesihatan mental sedunia 2011...
Pada hal tahun2 sebelumnya pada tarikh 10 Oktober ..2009 & 2010 aku pasti akan poskan sesuatu mengenai Hari Kesihatan Mental Sedunia..

Aku belum berkesempatan menanyakan pakcik Google apa tema pada tahun ni...
bukan sebab aku busy dengan kerja ....tapi aku buat-buat busy je depan bos ku...huhuuu...pandaikan Cik Zy berlakon...
Cuma fikiran aku aja agak busy berfikir sejak 2 menjak ni....
especially selepas peristiwa Audrey reception... otak ku agak ligat berfikir tentang hati dan perasaan yg tengah melanda...
mmmmmmm tak perlu cerita lanjut tentang hati dan perasaan aku.... karang kena sakit mental plak heheheh..
its all in your mind only....so lets move on...and see whatever have installed for me in the future...
lebihkan bertindak dari berfikir yang bukan-bukan ...tak giteeeww ??

so marilah kite sama-sama hayati video klip di bawah ni....
how i wish to be like him....full of love, care and affection....
tapi mentalku belum segagah ini.... untuk mengikut jejak langkah sebegini....


'food will give physical nutrition while love give them mental nutrition....see the joy of giving.....'








Just sharing....

Sunday, 1 May 2011

Lexapro and Me...

Couples of day before 22 April 2011….

I loathed everytime I need to take my half pills of Lexapro. This is my 2nd round of Lexapro after i stopped taken it 2 years ago. Last time the effect was great…but this time was a terribly horrible experience…. This things really really super charged my mind and sometimes it shows in form of behavior until I have headache especially in the morning and before bed…. Everyday I wonder why the pills doesn’t work like last time and really can’t wait for my appointment with Dr. Kasmini to ask her why..….tick tock tick tock..

22 April 2011…

I came 30 minutes late for the appointment thanks to pendrive’s with password protection features that took my 30 minutes to figure out what’s the password (techy but not ssooo user friendly)..

Luckily the doc was ok with my lateness, but as punishment I need to wait for another 1 hour before I was called to see her…huhu….its ok for me, I loved waiting..

So the first thing I told her was the super charge of ‘high’ behaviour that I was experiencing when I took Lexapro.. (luckily I’m an introvert type of person, just keep my super charge minds and feelings to myself until I have very bad headache…what if im an extrovert…? can’t imagined what will be during that critical time, maybe i will scold everybody ? or doing crazy things never before in my life ? huhuuu) ..the doc found it really weird because Lexapro supposed to make me relaxed not high, then she started to read my medical history report with a confused look on her face……

AHAAA…the doc shouted when she found what she wanted… she said this supercharged experience due to me not taking my hormone pill together with Lexapro like last time….and she thinks may be I will not need Lexapro at all and just the hormone pills…and said anxiousness is cause by this hormone imbalance in my body…huhu…

However, she still ask me to continue with half Lexapro every other day and insist me to take Yasmin too, and see how I will response with these pills together until the next appointment on 24 May 2011

PS: However since that day I only take my Yasmin….no Lexapro at all…..so far I’m doing great…hehe


Just sharing....

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

fizikal vs mental

dua perkara yang berbeza tapi sangat berkait rapat antara satu sama lain..
kalau mental tak kuat....badan senang sakit contohnya sakit kepala , sakit sendi....
kalau badan asyik sakit-sakit...lama kelamaan mental akan mula tergugat...

kes aku pulak....
these couple of years aku try menguatkan mental aku melawan anxiety disorder...
aku redah je walaupun sebenarnya aku berada dalam ketakutan pada masa itu...
aku ignore ...aku buat dunno...
dan aku berjaya kurangkan bilangan panic attack yang selalu aku alami...
tapi percubaan aku melawan secara psikologi, takes a toll on my physical well being...
aku perasan, aku makin kerap sakit kepala, aku makin kerap sakit sendi...
walaupun aku ada berjumpa physician mengadu hal sakit fizikalku...
tp jawapannya tak memuaskan hatiku...
so...aku amek keputusan untuk berjumpa psychiatrist...
dan seperti jangkaanku....
psychiatrist kata your anxiety disorder have shown its physical manifestation on your body...
thats why awak kerap rasa sakit....

dan dari saat inilah bermula kembali era lexapro dalam hidupku...
tapi kali ini banyak sgt side effect nya...
loya, cirit birit dan sakit kepala yg makin menjadi-jadi..
cepatla tiba next appoinment...



Just sharing....

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

An Episode @ 13 Floor

I can still remember...when i was a young girl...my aunt and her family rented one unit of condominium (at that time we called it flat) at 19th floor... when we came to visit them, my mom usually won't go upstairs and waited for us in the car... i always find it weird when my mom did that.....Luckily, they only rented the house for about 5 months and then move into a terrace house...

I also wonder during my mom working days (now that she is retired) why she always switched workplace once the department moved to a high rise building even though she loved working in that department....
Now that i'm older and wiser i found the answer of my mom weird behavior....its acrophobia or fear of heights...

Ironically, when i grew i older and after i was diagnosed of having anxiety disorder and panic attack...
i slowly developed acrophobia symptoms as well as claustrophobia and of course aerophobia...

My recent episode was when i'm in Malacca, i stayed at 13 th floor ....usually 13th floor was not a problem to me...
but i don't know somehow i developed panic attack just before i fell asleep....maybe it was due to stress i'm having on that week....yeah stress can trigger phobias and panic attack..... before i started to panic, my mind was racing through memories about my mom's problem with height.... my mind tried to imagine how would that be in her shoes on that time ....i don't know why i'm thinking of these things on that night....may be it was due to my stressed mind or my mental illness ?? huhu...

However, i successfully embrace and accept my panic attack episode without the help of medication....
i followed tips i read at Anxieties.com and it helps a lot......

Just sharing....

Monday, 11 October 2010

ten ten ten

10.10.10
its a nice number...
10/10/10
once in a century
10-10-10
an auspicious date..
characterized by success and prosperous some say...
a good day to tie the knot...
a good day for wedding registration...

but i don't think most of us remember
10 October is also World Mental Health Day

i came to realized that a year ago, when i decided to open this blog it was dedicated to help me dealing with my mental status, to find friends who has similar problem and to share my experience struggling with GAD & depression. That's why i named the blog as mymentalhealthblog.
however as time goes by, the content of the blog have focused more about my daily experiences and only occasionally i do write about mymentalhealth. It is not that my illness have totally gone, its just that maybe i felt a bit reserved when i knew that some of the readers are my real life friends and family members. Yesterday when one of my cousin knew about this blog, i felt like i want to make it a private blog.....why i felt that way..? because not everyone actually really understand having the illness....and even some doctors (physician/doctors that i met during relapse episodes because i'm unable to make appointment with psychiatrist immediately ) look at it as the weakness of the individual....but i will try my best to serve this blog as it was intended in the beginning regardless of what other people might think... :)


Just sharing....

Tuesday, 28 September 2010

Mengah Mengih Menguh

Dah lama tak berjogging...mmm jogging la sangat kan....satu pusingan taman tu pun tak abes khatam jogging lagi....selalunya jogging 15 minit je yang selebihnya berjalan lenggang kangkung...tapi ok la tu dari tak jogging langsung....

Hari ni lepas kerja pergi jogging sorang-sorang,
Setelah 2 bulan berpantang, baru harini berkesempatan pergi berjogging,
Iyo lah kan dalam bulan puasa dan raya kenalah berpantang dari buat bende2 camni....
Hari ni untuk melepaskan gian...pkul 5:40 PM sharp dah kluar dari office...
Sampai je kat rumah....Cepat-cepat tukar baju ...pakai sport shoes.... tapi apsal rasa macam longgar je sport shoes ni...pelik gak ni...

Sampai kat taman....jalan2 dulu dengan speed yang agak sederhana laju....kasi warm up dulu badan...
Huh...baru 15 minit warm up dah rasa mengah....
Lepas warm up ....baru mula jogging....tapi pergh.... baru 100 meter je dah mengah mengih menguh.....
Rasa susahnye nak bernafas.... pastu tetibe banyak angin dalam perut....lagi la rasa susah nak nafas....
Haaa.....mula la rasa nak panik kan....

Cuba memfokuskan diri kat benda lain....karang dilayan rasa panik tu makin teruk jadiknye....
Air sungai yg jernih mengalir sepoi2 bahasa telah menjadi mangsa fokusku...
Sungai tu tak besar mana pun....dengan satu lompatan je dah boleh pergi seberang....
Aku duduk di atas batu tepi sungai tu.....menikmati suasana damai di situ... ahhh syoknya...
Aku tadah air sungai ke dalam tangan...wah sejuknya....

Panik ku dah hilang....terima kasih untuk anak sungai yang jernih.....
Ku teruskan perjalanan....
Tak mau jogging ....cukuplah tu setakat hari ni....hehhhehe...
Esok kan ku cuba lagi....


Just sharing....

Wednesday, 4 August 2010

jeles...sejeles jelesnye

Mastura ajak pi white water rafting.....Madihah pon ajak juge....
Mastura ajak pi naik gajah....
Madihah ajak pi sky trex kat bukit cherakah...
Elfi ajak gi Universal Studio ... Universal Studio ni ok lagi kot....tak de la extreme sangat....
Bulan 4 next year plak nak gi KK...KK ade canopy walk....derang tak ajak lagi buat canopy walk..... harap2 derang tak tau la pasal ade canopy walk kat KK.....kalo derang tau confirm derang nak pegi situ.......kalo camtu aku yg haru...

TAPIII....aku ni memang azalinya seorang yang penakut....bermacam2 phobia aku ade....
karang nanti buat benda2 extreme ni tetibe panic attack aku menjelma camane ?
Tak ker menyusahkan korang.....tak ke aku akan menjadi pain in the ass korang....
Naik kapal terbang & singapore flyers pon aku takut sbb aku dah anggap macam suicide mission...
inikan pulak nak buat bende2 extreme cenggitu..

TAPIII jauh dilubuk hatiku.....memang naaakkkkk ssseeesssaaannnggggaaatttt buat mende2 tu.....
teruja dan excited.....!!! bile dengaar korang cerita....
tapi trauma akibat anxiety & panic disorder aku ni belom hilang sepenuhnya lagi....
bile la nak hilang ni ?........sedeyyy....

Just sharing....

Friday, 23 July 2010

Bipolar Disorder ?

Or some may refer it as manic depressive disorder (if i'm not mistaken la..)
Do i have it ? I don't know..
but i suspect i'm having it right now...
it's been quite a long while that i think i have it without any concrete diagnose from a psychiatrist..
it has go on about 5 months...
Why i thought so ?

In the morning
i will always felt sad as consequences of my active mind that always thought of sad and worrying things out of almost everything...!!!
even a tiny mini things i'm able to exaggerated until eventually became a sad and depressive thing (sometimes until i cried for real to help me to get rid of my thoughts)...
like today i have a stomachache and felt a little discomfort, starting from that point, my mind started to fear of having stomach internal bleeding similar with my father who have died from organ failure due to internal bleeding that originate from his stomach as effect from his brain tumor ...etc.etc mental illness...family,love etc..etc...being single...etc...etc..and the thoughts goes on and on...like Alice in Wonderland ..u know..
i'm unable to focus on work.... the most is ten minutes...then thinking for 20 minutes..then work again...then thinking again....
because of my work surroundings require most of my time in front pc (and yeahhh....i'm a programmer so i also do my thinking about work in front of pc).....nobody ever notice my problem, they thought i'm in the midst of solving my work related problem...(or may be i'm good at masking my sadness, hiding my feelings and swept away problems ??? Ouh ...and one of my fastest way to escape from my own depressive mind is to talk with my colleagues however work plus bosses prevent me to do so )

in the afternoon
my mind became more stabilize... have more focus on work.... sometimes too much focus until i cant' put my hand down from my keyboard...become more active compared to the morning...more OK and a bit joyful through the night

and lately...
the stressfulness have increase 3-6 piles as i approach next week...i have Mandarin exam, a trip to singapore and krabi (fyi, i have fear of height, flying, sometimes claustrophobia and fear of having panic attack ) and renew road-tax...with all of this i need Xanax badly but i'm unable to get new stocks ... try to called Dr. Kasmini a few times but cannot get her connected... try Dr Barathi but she's no longer at Apollo TTDI... and heyyyy.... we only have 65 psychiatrist in Malaysia..!!

and one more crucial facts i noticed...
if i sleep only 2-3 hours...the whole day i'll be sleepy at office BUT i'm more relax with less thinking and worrisome in comparison with having slept for 6-7 hours....why is that so?

Do i have Bipolar Disorder ? Just wondering or maybe worrying......

And i cried reading this article today, it remind me that i'm one of 'it' :(


Just sharing....

Friday, 9 April 2010

what if i am an extrovert

I was born introvert…always keep things to my self and it’s hard for me to express my real feeling….

Not so long time ago…you can’t hardly see me cry, laugh out loud, get angry, enthusiastic with things happened around me, socializing, screaming & yelling.


As days goes by… as things in my life changes ….as I gone through rough patches in my life … I became more aware of who I am….more aware on what I felt in my heart…I’ve noticed connection between my body and soul, felt it, realized it and able to defined it as well as to describe it… yeah..like body and soul searching you may say…


Last time when I’m scared to death I can easily get panic attack…but now, when the extreme event happen in my life…I will noticed the feeling and try to find ways to released it somewhere other than being depressed or panicked. So what did I do? I cry, express my feeling through writing or talking to someone you trust and of course not to forget exercise to pump up my endorphin level in my body.


As I apply this into my life more often and sharpen the skills, gradually I began to notice that I actually can express my feeling easily, can blurt out what’s on my mind effortlessly, bored when I’m alone, love to hang out with friends and families, more enthusiast towards life, started to open my mouth in meetings, become more humorous (thanks to my crazy cousins, aunties, uncles & sis for this humor thingy, i've learnt it from you guys) and i've learnt to love & appreciate God's gift more than usual.


I think I’ve develop some extrovert traits in me… am i? or can I just say I become ambivert – half extrovert & half introvert?

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Celebration of Love Part 2



Love is crazy or crazy in love ? Is it true that love makes people crazy ? What causes this temporary insanity when human falls in love? Why do people act differently than they usually does when falling in love ? Wonder why when people are romantically in love, they can't stop thinking about their love one?

A study have shown that when people in love, the level of serotonin decrease to the level similar of people having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD) , depression or anxiety; which causes uncontrollable and repetitive thoughts as well as actions. The study also revealed that when people in love, the parts of the brain which are overactive are the same area as people who experience depression. Another interesting fact discovered by the study is that people with low presence of serotonin in the brain are more susceptible to fall in love and engage in sexual activity ! Really interesting fact indeed !! For more information please go to http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro01/web2/Hoegler.html

Having read the study discoveries, i traveled back to the time when i had my first panic attack. Yeah...ironically the first panic attack was when my first love relationship with a man was still in early stage, in other words falling in love for the first time. This is when i experienced my own level of anxiety to its highest, a mixed up of overwhelming fear and excitement of not knowing what to expect in a love relationship. Before this, I've always had difficulties and uncomfortable feelings such as being so shy when I'm around with my male friends; therefore it is even harder for me to develop a love relationship with a man. However with the help of Xanax prescribed by my psychiatrist has helped me to go through with my fear, but later on i regret in taking Xanax as i became dependent with the medicine for quite a long time.

And readers...i found the following article very informative which related to today's entry
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http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm

The science of love

When do you know if you fancy someone? What does love do to your brain chemicals, and is falling in love just nature's way to keep our species alive?

We call it love. It feels like love. But the most exhilarating of all human emotions is probably nature’s beautiful way of keeping the human species alive and reproducing.

With an irresistible cocktail of chemicals, our brain entices us to fall in love. We believe we’re choosing a partner. But we may merely be the happy victims of nature’s lovely plan.

It’s not what you say...

Psychologists have shown it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone.

Research has shown this has little to do with what is said, rather

  • 55% is through body language

  • 38% is the tone and speed of their voice

  • Only 7% is through what they say

The 3 stages of love

Helen Fisher of Rutgers University in the States has proposed 3 stages of love – lust, attraction and attachment. Each stage might be driven by different hormones and chemicals.

Stage 1: Lust

This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the amazing time when you are truly love-struck and can think of little else. Scientists think that three main neurotransmitters are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline

The initial stages of falling for someone activates your stress response, increasing your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol. This has the charming effect that when you unexpectedly bump into your new love, you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry.

Dopamine

Helen Fisher asked newly ‘love struck’ couples to have their brains examined and discovered they have high levels of the neurotransmitter dopamine. This chemical stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!

Fisher suggests “couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship” .

Serotonin

And finally, serotonin. One of love's most important chemicals that may explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.


Does love change the way you think?
A landmark experiment in Pisa, Italy showed that early love (the attraction phase) really changes the way you think.

Dr Donatella Marazziti, a psychiatrist at the University of Pisa advertised for twenty couples who'd been madly in love for less than six months. She wanted to see if the brain mechanisms that cause you to constantly think about your lover, were related to the brain mechanisms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

By analysing blood samples from the lovers, Dr Marazitti discovered that serotonin levels of new lovers were equivalent to the low serotonin levels of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder patients.

Love needs to be blind

Newly smitten lovers often idealise their partner, magnifying their virtues and explaining away their flaws says Ellen Berscheid, a leading researcher on the psychology of love.

New couples also exalt the relationship itself. “It's very common to think they have a relationship that's closer and more special than anyone else's”. Psychologists think we need this rose-tinted view. It makes us want to stay together to enter the next stage of love – attachment.

Stage 3: Attachment

Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together long enough for them to have and raise children. Scientists think there might be two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.

Oxytocin - The cuddle hormone

Oxytocin is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm.

It probably deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another after they have had sex. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.

Oxytocin also seems to help cement the strong bond between mum and baby and is released during childbirth. It is also responsible for a mum’s breast automatically releasing milk at the mere sight or sound of her young baby.

Diane Witt, assistant professor of psychology from New York has showed that if you block the natural release of oxytocin in sheep and rats, they reject their own young.

Conversely, injecting oxytocin into female rats who’ve never had sex, caused them to fawn over another female’s young, nuzzling the pups and protecting them as if they were their own.

Vasopressin
Vasopressin is another important hormone in the long-term commitment stage and is released after sex.

Vasopressin (also called anti-diuretic hormone) works with your kidneys to control thirst. Its potential role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole.

Prairie voles indulge in far more sex than is strictly necessary for the purposes of reproduction. They also – like humans - form fairly stable pair-bonds.

When male prairie voles were given a drug that suppresses the effect of vasopressin, the bond with their partner deteriorated immediately as they lost their devotion and failed to protect their partner from new suitors.

And finally … how to fall in love

  • Find a complete stranger.

  • Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.

  • Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love.

He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.


Tuesday, 29 December 2009

~~~~~ dZ & sELiPeE ~~~~

Dizzy & sleepy, these two words describe me at this very moment. I’m still at the office, waiting to go home at 6:00 pm. . Recently, there is not much work to do…. The update process has run smoothly without errors…. The figure in the new report doesn’t have major discrepancy to be rectified.

The dizziness and sleepiness I’m having now was contribute by my lack of sleep in this couple of days. I think one of the reasons I’m hardly to fall asleep at night because of not taking my Lexapro in this couple of days. Yeah… I’ve told you before I have problem taking medication on regular basis. The consequences of my lack of discipline cause me to become unfocused during morning working hour; it would subside gradually in the afternoon and in the evening and at night I would become more excitement in doing things such as watching TV unstoppable…series after series, reading the whole book at one night stand and enthusiastically surf the Internet page after page. I would only sleep at 3 or 4 am.

Supposedly my first one month box of Lexapro is to be finished consumes until early December and the psychiatrist asked me to make appointment with her when my medicine finished. But until now I haven’t finished it yet… I have another 7 pills left in my handbag …..
You are strictly advised not to follow my foot step……

Friday, 18 December 2009

Derita Budak Halusinasi

Susunan Fairul Asmaini Mohd Pilus www.hmetro.com.my

IMAGINASI kanak-kanak memang tiada had sempadan. Ada yang gemar tampil dengan pakaian super hero kegemaran atau berangan menjadi puteri.Namun, tidak semua imaginasi itu bagus untuk proses pembesaran kanak-kanak kerana ada ketikanya halusinasi itu mampu mendorong kepada kelakuan yang menakutkan. Bagi, pasangan Michael dan Susan Schofield, mereka tahu bagaimana penyakit mental mampu merosakkan kehidupan indah seorang kanak-kanak. Anak mereka, January ' Jani', 7, disahkan mengidap penyakit schizophrenia yang amat jarang ditemui pada kanak-kanak.

Berdasarkan Institut Kesihatan Mental Kebangsaan Amerika Syarikat (AS), schizophrenia adalah satu penyakit kerosakan otak yang menyebabkan penghidapnya mendengar suara ghaib dan menyalah anggap kehidupan realiti.

Dalam sesetengah kes, pesakit turut menganggap masyarakat sekeliling merancang untuk memusnahkan mereka dan akhirnya berlaku kemurungan dan kelakuan yang luar biasa. Michael yang juga seorang profesor bahasa Inggeris di sebuah kolej berkata, sejak beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini, Jani 'bertemu' lebih 200 jenis kucing, anjing, burung dan kanak-kanak kecil yang anaknya saja boleh melihatnya.

Sejak hari pertama Jani dilahirkan, Michael berkata dia dan Susan mengesan sesuatu luar biasa pada anak sulungnya. Deria Jani lebih bijak berbanding bayi seusia dengannya dan anaknya itu mempunyai tabiat tidur yang berlainan. "Kebanyakan bayi tidur kira-kira 16 jam sehari tetapi Jani hanya tidur sekitar 20 minit setiap kali ditidurkan. "Ia menyebabkan Jani hanya tidur empat jam saja sehari" katanya. Selain itu, apabila usianya mencecah dua tahun, Jani menggelarkan dirinya dengan pelbagai nama termasuk Blue- Eyed Tree Frog serta Jani Firefly.
Imaginasi Jani juga semakin kuat daripada tahun ke tahun dan ketika umurnya mencecah lima tahun, kelakuannya semakin berbahaya serta sukar dikawal. "Jani akan mencakar badannya sehingga keluar darah. Dia cuba mencakar muka saya dan mengeluarkan mata. "Tetapi beberapa saat kemudian, Jani kembali normal dan berkelakuan seperti tiada apa yang berlaku. "Kelakuan Jani memang menakutkan tetapi saya dan isteri perlu sentiasa berwaspada memandangkan Jani kini mempunyai adik lelaki, Bodhi," katanya. Jani pernah memberitahu kepada mereka mengenai haiwan imaginasinya bernama Wednesday dan 400 yang menyuruh dirinya untuk memukul sesuatu. Seandainya Jani enggan, haiwan itu dikatakan akan mencakar serta menggigitnya. Susan berkata, dia dan suaminya pernah menemui Jani yang cuba terjun daripada tingkap biliknya kerana marah dihukum berada dalam biliknya. Namun, Jani seorang kanak-kanak yang pintar dan amat meminati Sains serta Matematik. "Jani pernah diuji dan markah tahap kecerdasannya ialah 146. Ia ternyata amat mengejutkan kami," katanya.

Antara Januari hingga Ogos tahun ini, Jani dimasukkan ke wad psikiatrik Pusat Perubatan UCLA sebanyak tiga kali selama 174 hari. Pakar, Dr Mark DeAntonio berkata, kes seperti itu amat jarang dijumpai pada kanak-kanak seusia dengan Jani. "Keadaan yang dialami Jani amat menakutkan dan mengganggu proses pembesarannya. Penyakit itu mungkin satu dijumpai dalam tempoh 20 tahun," katanya. Penyakit itu memang sukar untuk diubati tetapi doktor masih berusaha mengawal kelakuan luar biasanya dengan memberi ubat kuat."Jani mengambil 200 miligram (mg) Clozaril dan 600 mg litium setiap hari. Ubat itu amat kuat untuk mengawal otaknya kerana Clozaril adalah penyelesaian terakhir bagi pengidap Schizohrenia dewasa," kata doctor. Biarpun mengambil ubat, kelakuan Jani tetap sukar dikawal. Justeru, mereka terpaksa memisahkan Jani dari adiknya."Kami sukar melelapkan mata tanpa memikirkan keselamatan Bodhi kerana Jani boleh menyerangnya pada bila-bila masa," katanya.
Bagi memberi peluang kepada anaknya itu untuk menikmati kehidupan yang normal, mereka menghantar Jani ke sekolah awam yang menyediakan guru khas. "Jani tidak berkawan dengan kanak-kanak lain seperti yang kami harapkan kerana dia hanya bermain dengan haiwan imaginasinya iaitu seekor cicak bernama Spikes. "Sebagai ibu bapa, kami tidak akan berputus asa mengubati penyakit Jani," katanya.

Masalah Jani menyebabkan hubungan Michael dan Susan retak. "Pernah saya memikirkan untuk menamatkan semua ini dengan cepat kerana sudah tidak tahan. "Saya pernah cuba membunuh diri dengan mengambil ubat penenang." katanya Sementara itu, kisah keluarga ini turut menarik perhatian selebriti terkenal, Oprah Winfrey yang sanggup terbang daripada California untuk menghabiskan masa sepetang bersama keluarga berkenaan. Selepas sejam, Oprah mengakui dia tidak mempunyai kesabaran dan ketabahan seperti yang dimiliki pasangan itu. "Saya tertanya-tanya bagaimana pasangan ini dapat melaluinya sejak bertahun-tahun sedangkan untuk sejam pun saya tidak tahan menjaganya. "Itulah istimewanya hubungan ibu bapa dan anak. Apa yang menggembirakan saya ialah pasangan Michael dan Susan berjanji untuk menjaga Jani sebaik mungkin," kata Oprah dalam rancangan bual bicaranya, baru-baru ini.

Wednesday, 11 November 2009

A new course of treatment

'It's a relapse of depression... based on your symptoms it is still in early stage , however to prevent it from getting worst i will prescribe you Lexapro together with Xanax...Xanax is to be taken only needed because in early week on Lexapro, your symptoms will be slightly intensified... When you feel it then take Xanax...but you need to get off Xanax when you've got better through time' the doctor explained......mmmm another course of medication which i despise especially during the first 2 weeks waiting the medication to 100% kick off....
'you need to take Lexapro for 1 year' the doctor add some more instruction......Whatt!!! one year....?! Honestly i don't possessed discipline in taking medication on regular basis....that's why i failed in my previous course.....
'You also need to do regular physical exercise at least 3-4 a week to increase you endorphin, it's a feel good hormone, do breathing exercise when you get anxious and practice muscular progressive relaxation exercise for muscle pain... ' the doctor advise..... this one i can handle...insyaAllah.... must start hitting the gym again......
'You need to see
Obstetrics and Gynecology specialist to treat your hormone imbalance' she add ...... wah another specialist....i wonder how much that will cost me....... for seeing a psychiatrist and plus medication i've already lost RM 350.....that's a lot of money...!! i hope i can claim from my company medical insurance....

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Kesihatan mental kurang perhatian

Oleh Soraya Jamal (Utusan Online)

KIRA-KIRA 450 juta orang di seluruh dunia mengalami gangguan mental tertentu seperti kemurungan, skizofrenia dan gangguan bipolar tetapi kurang separuh daripada mereka menerima rawatan yang diperlukan, menurut Pertubuhan Kesihatan Sedunia (WHO).
WHO menganggarkan bahawa menjelang 2020, penyakit mental kemungkinan mewakili 15 peratus daripada penyakit global.
Gangguan kesihatan mental adalah lebih lazim daripada apa yang anda fikirkan. Tahun lepas sahaja 400,227 pesakit di Malaysia mendapatkan bantuan psikiatri di hospital-hospital kerajaan, satu peningkatan sebanyak 15.6 peratus berbanding 346,196 pesakit pada 2007.
Tinjauan Kesihatan Kebangsaan dan Morbiditi Ketiga pada 2006 menunjukkan masalah kesihatan mental di kalangan remaja semakin meningkat.
Kaum hawa lebih cenderung menghadapi masalah kesihatan mental dengan peratusan mereka yang terbabit mencatatkan 12.1 peratus berbanding 10.4 peratus bagi lelaki.
Lima daripada 10 punca utama kecacatan adalah berkaitan dengan penyakit mental. Kemurungan dijangka menjadi punca utama kedua kecacatan menjelang 2020.

Kurang diagnosis

Walaupun ia masalah biasa dan serius, penyakit mental masih tidak diterima dengan meluas sebagai masalah kesihatan yang kritikal dan seringkali tidak didiagnosis dengan lengkap oleh para pakar penjagaan kesihatan.
Presiden Persekutuan ASEAN bagi Psikiatri dan Kesihatan Mental (AFPMH), Professor Dr. Mohamad Hussain Habil beranggapan ini sebahagian besarnya berpunca kerana dua faktor.
Pertama kurangnya pengetahuan atau persefahaman dalam mendiagnosis atau merawat penyakit itu sementara faktor kedua berkaitan langsung dengan pandangan serong ataupun stigma akibat gangguan mental yang turut membabitkan kalangan pengamal perubatan.
Pengesanan awal penyakit ini dalam masyarakat oleh pakar-pakar perubatan boleh membawa pelbagai manfaat berkaitan dengan kos dan produktiviti, dan dalam kes-kes tertentu menghalang masalah itu daripada menjadi masalah kesihatan yang besar.
Menurut laporan Majlis Penasihat Kebangsaan Kesihatan Mental, hasil daripada rawatan bagi mereka dengan penyakit mental paling serius boleh dibandingkan dengan rawatan bagi penyakit kronik lain.
Kadar kejayaan rawatan awal bagi penyakit mental adalah 60-80 peratus, melampaui kadar kejayaan 40 hingga 60 peratus bagi rawatan pembedahan biasa seperti penyakit jantung.
Bagi individu dengan masalah kesihatan mental, ketiadaan bantuan yang mereka perlukan boleh mencetuskan tekanan sosial dan pemulauan selain menyebabkan bebanan kewangan kerana mereka akan terus mencari nasihat perubatan, selain daripada kehilangan pekerjaan kerana produktiviti yang berkurang.
Keadaan ini juga menjejaskan kualiti kehidupan pesakit dan penjaga mereka. Lebih buruk lagi, kekurangan diagnosis lengkap boleh menyebabkan tragedi khasnya apabila pesakit membunuh diri.

Peranan penjagaan

AFPMH dan Persatuan Psikiatri Malaysia (MPA) meraikan Hari Kesihatan Mental Sedunia 2009 pada 9 Oktober dengan mensasarkan kepada peranan penting pakar-pakar perubatan utama dalam mengenalpasti dan merawat gangguan psikiatri.
Tema tahun ini ialah 'Kesihatan Mental Dalam Penjagaan Utama; Mempertingkat Rawatan dan Menggalakkan Kesihatan Mental'.
Ramai yang tidak akan menimbangkan untuk menemui ahli psikiatri apalagi kebanyakan tidak akan menerima hakikat yang mereka mempunyai masalah kesihatan mental.
Dan mereka malu untuk berjumpa dengan pakar kesihatan mental dan seringkali rasa lebih selesa untuk bertemu dengan doktor di kejiranan mereka.
"Pakar-pakar penjagaan utama ini berada di barisan hadapan sistem penjagaan kesihatan awam dan lebih mengetahui sejarah kesihatan pesakit mereka.
"Oleh itu perlu ada kemampuan untuk mengenalpasti simptom selain pengetahuan psikiatri untuk melaksanakan rawatan,"kata Profesor Dr. Mohamad Hussain semasa satu persidangan berita baru-baru ini.
Profesor Dr. Mohamad Hussain, yang juga Pakar Rawatan Ketagihan dan Perunding Psikiatri di Jabatan Perubatan Psikologi, Pusat Perubatan Universiti Malaya, berkata pengesanan awal serta diagnosis yang wajar membolehkan pesakit menerima rawatan yang sesuai.
Ia juga mencegah gangguan mental yang lebih buruk lagi dan akhirnya membolehkan pesakit untuk meneruskan kehidupan dengan normal bersama masyarakat semasa menjalani rawatan, katanya.
Professor Dr Mohamad Hussain juga berkata, hanya terdapat lebih kurang 200 ahli psikiatri di Malaysia sedangkan bilangan yang ideal ialah seramai 2000 orang.
"Satu pendekatan bersepadu membabitkan pakar-pakar utama dalam penjagaan kesihatan akan mengurangkan bebanan yang dihadapi oleh ahli psikiatri, dan akan banyak membantu mereka daripada kumpulan berpendapatan rendah untuk mendapatkan rawatan yang mampu.
"Pendekatan ini memastikan bahawa pesakit tidak perlu pergi jauh untuk mendapatkan ubat-ubatan daripada ahli psikiatri, yang banyak mengurangkan beban kepada mereka yang menjaga pesakit mental," katanya.

Stigma

Stigma yang wujud di kalangan umum dan sehinggakan pakar-pakar penjagaan kesihatan merupakan punca utama kes-kes psikiatri gagal dikesan dan dirawat dari awal lagi.
"Bidang psikiatri telah banyak berkembang. Ubat-ubatan terbaru membolehkan gangguan mental dirawat. Bagaimanapun, ramai yang tidak mahu mendapatkan bantuan profesional kerana beranggapan mereka akan dicemuh sebagai 'gila' ataupun akan didiskriminasi jika didiagnosis dengan gangguan mental," kata Presiden MPA Dr Yen Tech Hoe.
Isu ini diburukkan lagi oleh tanggapan salah di kalangan pakar perubatan iaitu masalah kesihatan mental merupakan komponen kurang penting dalam profesyen perubatan.
Ramai daripada pakar perubatan tidak menyedari yang kebanyakan daripada penyakit psikiatri ini muncul dalam bentuk simptom fizikal dan oleh itu mereka lazimnya merawat simptom ini tanpa pemeriksaan lanjut. -- BERNAMA



http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2009&dt=1103&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&sec=Kesihatan&pg=kn_01.htm