Relevankah aku di hatimu ?

Tengah dok baca buku cerita ni...tinggal a few babak saje lagi...
tak sabar nak tahu apa endingnya....apakah kaduk atau ammar....? atau orang lain yg menjadi pilihan Akasyah....?
agak menarik ceritanya.....
kisah persabahatan yg lama-kelamaan wujud rasa cinta....
suke baca buku ni sebab ayat-ayat yang ditulis oleh Rnysa sungguh best, sempoi dan kena dengan jiwaku...
dialog-dialog yang bersahaja dan kelakar...
tapi....haiiii....banyak sangat main tarik tali la watak-watak dalam cerita ni....mula2 agak suspen jugak adegan tarik tali ni.... tapi bila banyak sangat main-main tarik-tali ni rasa suspen dan teruja tu dah bertukar jadi bosan la plak....apa-apa hal pon memang tak sabar nak habiskan bace buku ni..... hari ni cuma sempat baca 6 mukasurat jer tadi masa temankan capik makan kat Rasta.....sungguh tak produktifkan ? ya la ....ari ni boleh tahan banyak agenda....pi tengok ucu kat Ampang Puteri, pi buat spa kat Tanamera (best...! nanti insyaAllah ku akan cerita lebih pasal spa ni) & layan PakAnjang, Atok ngan Angah yg dtg umah.....
Target untuk habeskan buku ni by this week.....dalam queue booklist ada panjang lagi.....haissshhhh

Shukur Ahmad

Shukor... tak ingat ejaan yg betul macam mana.errr. ekceli it's Shukur... eh!dah jumpe dia kat fb... baru je lg, tak smpai 5 minit cari trus terjumpe...dah send friend request......wat a coincidence..

Masa tengok cete Twillight yg part Bella& Edward dlm lab biologi tu, rase mcm ala2 romantik gitew...dan tetibe2 otakku ligat berfikir....pernah tak aku dpt lab partner opposite sex yg dok berdua2 je .... ting...!! memang ada..!!! nama Shukur muncul dalam ingatanku.... sepanjang berkawan dngannya walaupun hanya sempat setahun.... he's a sweet guy indeed....baik orangnya.. dari pontian Johor tak salah aku....sekampung ngan si capik....

kami jadi lab partner masa waktu Fizik Asasi Sains Hayat... Shukur group D2 ... satu group ngan Ellina...aku plak D1... tapi group D1,D2, D3 akan combine dalam sesi yg melibatkan ujikaji dalam makmal....dan ntah macm mane aku tak tau kami bleh terjadi lab partner.... tak dapat aku bayangkan betapa malangnya nasib Shukur dapat partner yg sungguh pemalas macam aku....most of the time Shukur yg banyak buat kerja, aku tukang tengok je kot...masa blaja kat UM aku memang terkenal dengan pemalas, kaki last minit study dan suke tiru kerja org...haishhhh... tapi skrang aku dah tobat nasuha....buat kerja tip top, bos pon sayang kat aku...!

lagi satu memori yg aku tak bleh lupa pasal Shukur bile aku pegang payung atau aku dipayungkan di dalam hari hujan secara berduan-duaan dgn seseorang lelaki baik kawan mahupun lawan ....dia member lelaki partama yg pernah aku share payung bersama2 ..dah la zaman tu aku ni jenis agak malu orangnya....dan aku rase sungguhlah sangat malu pada waktu itu bile dipayungkan oleh Shukur... hahaha...

dan rafidi plak member lelaki pertama yg aku tumpang motor dia... tu pon kerna terpaksa & dipaksa oleh Ellina....aiks aku ni nk wat statistik lelaki pertama ke atau cete pasal Shukur ? off topic kejap...

lepas habis Asasi kami mmbawa haluan masing...mulai saat itu aku dah tak pernah nampak Shukur dah... aku dengar dia amek medic dan aku amek Computer Science...aku slalu jugak lepak kat Kolej 6 (kolej budak medic) sbb ramai kawan....even aku pernah sewa bilik kat 6th masa semester khas.. dan aku slalu study kat library medic tu....tapi tak pernah pulak nampak kelibat Shukur... ade jugak aku tanye Aishah pasal Shukur.. tp tak berpeluang nak terserempak...

dan baru sebentar tadi.. aku ternampak gambor Shukur di fb....memang lain sungguh...agak berisi dan dah pakai cermin mata....dulu dia kurus tinggi dan tak pakai spek...mungkin pasal muka Shukur agak lain tak seperti zaman Asasi sebabkan aku tak cam dia semasa melepak kat 6th dulu... ? dan aku rase kalo ditakdirkan suatu hari aku pergi klinik dia mesti aku tak kenal mukenye, unless jika dia perkenalkan diri dia dulu & dia ingat muka aku lagilah..

dan aku harap Shukur Ahmad yg aku jumpe dalam fb melalui fb Aishah tu betullah Shukur yg kukenali dulu......kalau tidak....salah orang la jawabnye..huhu..dan aku harap dia terima la permintaan menjadi kawan kat fb tu....walaupun aku rase harapan sungguh tipis untuk dia ingat lagi aku ni sape....sekurang-kurangnye aku dah mencube...:)

Filling my empty heart

I have an empty heart.....at the moment i filled my empty heart with those who are close to me physically (not intimately) and who have been a part of my life even for only just 1 second ... it's very difficult because there are a lot of them..!! Sometimes in one day i can filled my empty heart with up to 5 person..! (if i go extra mad on certain days the number can go up to 10 !)...but sadly it's only me putting them in my empty heart and not vice versa..... i'm started to get tired and confused ... but will not give up until its game over.

I can only fill my empty heart to one person at a time, that's the ultimate rule of this game. The shortest time to stay in my empty heart is 1 second...the longest is as long as i can live. So, whoever attract me the most you will be given privilege to squeeze out whoever currently inside my heart and take over the place at no extra cost....additionally yet the most important rule to follow-> you are not allowed to take over the person in my life that already permanently engraved in my heart and if you've been accepted to fill my empty heart forever you are subjected to love them too.....any takers?

Are you that person? You can be that person , yes you are...no kidding...
i have no strict rules for the criterion of that person... as long as i feel happy, safe and can be myself when i'm with you ... then you can be the next person to fill my empty heart...:)....hurrrmmm errrr....mmmmm and you must be a guy too....a genuine one...no fake pls..

The game will be over once i've found the person who can fill my empty heart forever.... and he too are willing to fill his empty heart for me forever...

Cemburukah aku ?

ku lihat je adek-adek ku ni tak abes-abes melekat ngan hp masing2...
baik matye, baik capik, baik kiki maupun ikhwan ....
hai korang ni ....macam takdak life len ke selain menekan2 punat handphone tu....
setiap saat setiap detik...pasti berbunyi... pelik aku...
aku dok terbayangkan mase2 mude aku....ade ke aku cenggini dulu ?
rasenya zaman aku dulu mane de hp...public phone ade laa.....huahuahua...
atau mungkin aku tak seglemer and secantek aweks2 di zaman millenium ni..
low profile la katekan ...
dan tak semena2 aku telah men'sound' ketidakpuasan hatiku akibat tak tahannya dgn bunyi bingit talipon bimbit capik yg asik berbunyi2 tu tatkala sedang buat2 khusyuk menengok perlawanan akhir kedah vs nogori...
dan hasilnye aku telah di'fire' balik dgn kata2 yg agak panas...
'akak cemburu ke ....capik sms ngan awek capik' ....
dan panasnye menyirap sampai ke muke ku ? PANASSS....
CEMBURUKAH AKU ?
dalam hatiku berkate...'tak rugi pun kalo nak cemburu'
tapi hati panas tak reti la pulak nak beredar....
sampai aku telah menolak pelawaan yg lain ajak lepak makan kepak ayam madu di uptown kota damansara...
naseb baik ade kiki yang pandai menyejukkan hatiku dengan aura memujuknya yang hampir me'rogel' hati nan cemburu....dan aku pon kembali ceria....
CEMBURUKAH AKU ?

what if i am an extrovert

I was born introvert…always keep things to my self and it’s hard for me to express my real feeling….

Not so long time ago…you can’t hardly see me cry, laugh out loud, get angry, enthusiastic with things happened around me, socializing, screaming & yelling.

As days goes by… as things in my life changes ….as I gone through rough patches in my life … I became more aware of who I am….more aware on what I felt in my heart…I’ve noticed connection between my body and soul, felt it, realized it and able to defined it as well as to describe it… yeah..like body and soul searching you may say…

Last time when I’m scared to death I can easily get panic attack…but now, when the extreme event happen in my life…I will noticed the feeling and try to find ways to released it somewhere other than being depressed or panicked. So what did I do? I cry, express my feeling through writing or talking to someone you trust and of course not to forget exercise to pump up my endorphin level in my body.

As I apply this into my life more often and sharpen the skills, gradually I began to notice that I actually can express my feeling easily, can blurt out what’s on my mind effortlessly, bored when I’m alone, love to hang out with friends and families, more enthusiast towards life, started to open my mouth in meetings, become more humorous (thanks to my crazy cousins, aunties, uncles & sis for this humor thingy, i've learnt it from you guys) and i've learnt to love & appreciate God's gift more than usual.

I think I’ve develop some extrovert traits in me… am i? or can I just say I become ambivert – half extrovert & half introvert?